just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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