We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
