I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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