The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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