We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
