Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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