There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
