I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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