Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
