How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
