I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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