hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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