oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
