she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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