I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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