If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
