I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
