Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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