My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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