Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
