Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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