Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
