I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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