She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
