He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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