FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
