do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
