i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
