Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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