just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
