the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The power of my boobs compel you
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
