good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
