How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
