I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My ass is underappreciated
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
