So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
