shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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