Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
