how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
