i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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