I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Too much gin, very little bucket
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
