Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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