did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
