kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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