hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
