You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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