we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
