You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
