Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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