Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
