just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
