As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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