i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
