Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
smell my finger.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
