a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
